So here you are, browsing ad sites for providers, when you find someone you’d love to spend time with! While your first instinct might be to simply message “hi,” I’m here to tell you that that approach will get you nowhere. As providers, we’ve all gotten the “hey,” “baby,” “you avail,” “Fit white male,” ect. messages. They are the bane of our existence and often make our job more frustrating.
If you’d like to avoid your message being sent straight to spam, here’s a simple breakdown of the appropriate way to reach out to the provider you’d like to see.
Step one: READ the AD!
As a provider myself, I can attest to the time and thought that goes into creating a provider’s ad. The photos might be the first thing you want to look at, but don’t stop there! Oftentimes our bio’s are a window into our personalities and what you can expect if/when we meet. There may also be a section for any links that might be available for social media accounts or fan sites we have. More often than not, our rates and the services we provide are listed as well as any cancellation policies or other fine print.
All of this is vital information to know prior to reaching out.
Step two: Method of Contact
Now that you’ve looked at your provider’s ad, it’s time to pick the method of contact you’d like to use.
Every provider is different when it comes to their do’s and don’ts for contact. Personally, I accept text messages and emails, my personal website contact form, as well as messages through the ad site itself when applicable, but I do NOT accept phone calls or video calls unless those are paid for.
Please read the fine print provider’s add, usually listed next to the contact information itself to determine how you may reach out to your provider.
BEWARE, while the allowance of texts, video calls, emails, contact forms, and phone calls may vary from one provider to the next, there is one form of communication that is widely BANNED by all providers: fan sites.
Messaging about companionship on fan sites such as Onlyfans, Fansly, or Loyalfans, will lead to you being blocked more often than not. It is very risky to message on these sites and often ends in account termination for one or both parties. A risk that most using those platforms are not willing to take.
Step three: Reaching out
While it might be confusing that these sites are listed on ads but cannot be used to contact, that is not what they are there for. They are there for you to see more of your provider prior to meeting them. A way of verifying they are real and everything you are looking for. And also a way to support and see the providers you are not near or cannot see in person.
Now that you’ve picked your method of contact, let’s reach out! A simple, concise message is usually the best approach. Something that states your interest and gets the ball rolling.
While every provider has a different screening process, the basic information needed is all generally the same. Your name, meeting city, date, time, incall/outcall, date length, meeting location, ect. are the key details that make your meeting happen.
Here are some examples of clear and simple ways to reach out:
- “Hello [provider’s name], I found you on [ad site]. My name is [your name] and I’d love to see you on [desired date] at [desired time] in [your city].”
- My name is [your name] and I will be in [providers city] on [date]. Are you available for an [incall/outcall] at [time]?
Or simply jus sending
- Name: [your name]
Date: [your availability]
Time: [preferred start time]
Incall/Outcall: [your choice]
City: [What city you want to meet in]
Meeting Location: [hotel lobby, house, ect]
Length: [How long you want to see your provider]
Once you’ve sent this information, your provider should respond in a timely manner and walk you through any additional screening that is needed and how to send any deposit/booking fee that may be needed to secure your date and time.
Some additional do’s and don’ts:
- DO be respectful when reaching out.
- DON’T try to haggle prices. As providers, we set the prices we are comfortable with for the services we provide. Trying to haggle will only lead to you getting blocked. Would you try to haggle for 50% off a car or any other product or service?
- DO be clinical and polite when asking if certain services you may want are available.
- DON’T expect a provider to be able to see you within an hour of you messaging. Contrary to popular belief, we are not “done up” and waiting by the phone at all hours of the day and night. We need time to prepare and be ready. Personally, I require at least 4 hours advance notice and charge an extra fee for same day appointments.
- DON’T send multiple texts in a row or get impatient when a provider doesn’t respond right away, we get busy too and may not be able to answer instantly.